A year in reflection…..
2017 has been a big year yet a quiet year, a year of reflection all in all. A lot of time spent alone bonding with the quiet four legged people. They don’t speak much but they definitely have their own language, which shows up as a headbutt to the ankle and a tail curled around your leg, a purr in your ear and a weight on your chest, a bark, a meow and most of the time just a look.
The year started with a break up (we are still gorgeous friends) and ended with a note on my car from an ex that I’ve been avoiding for 3 years (yep she’s living in the same street that I’m cat sitting in for Xmas and new year whoppee it’s going to be an interesting summer). This year for me has definitely been about facing all your shit, everything that needed closure seems to have risen to the forefront, maybe I needed it, maybe I’m in a place where it’s safe enough to face it, or maybe my soul just seeks it out?
I’ve moved house twice, well many times actually. I moved out of my home in coogee that was a safe place for me for a year and a half with my beautiful friend and launched myself, with pretty much no parachute, into the world of houseminding and petsitting. I’m not sure if it was a silly move, but it definitely brought out every survival skill I had, I kind of felt I was running on pure adrenaline for about 6 months. The concept of putting my life in storage and travelling light sounded fun and light and freeing (and it is) but it is also stressful, nerve wracking and makes you feel completely exposed and vulnerable.
I felt like I had ADHD for a while there, I decided I wanted to learn how to code, did a few courses online, taught myself WordPress and started about 3 online businesses, all still in concept phase, all will still take time, the first being the dating website for people who want to be co-parents, the second incidental being the social network for petminders and the 3rd being livestream Canasta tournaments with tutorials and maybe flogg our own Canasta card sets. I felt like I was going mad this year, with so many ideas running through my head, zero cashflow and limited resources but with only a bright burning fire (the fire of adrenaline from being essentially homeless) within me that drives the thought of ‘must move forward’, and I don’t know whether it’s bravery or stupidity to launch into a million directions at once, watching which direction has traction and flow and keep plugging away at the ones that have movement? So out of all the ideas, the petminding was the avenue, the direction that had the most flow, probably because it was a necessity for me to have a home and the fact that I was free of charge for 6 months definitely piqued the interest of people wanting a known safe community member in their home looking after their fur family and not having to give anything in exchange. I would just come in with my luggage as if I was on holiday in a bnb, only use the essentials being bed, bathroom, kitchen and tv and leave as if I hadn’t been there at all, other than their home alone fur friend was happy, well fed, safe, healthy and loved. What a great deal, no wonder it took off like wildfire.
But in the end, the idea of not having a base took its toll on my stress levels and I ended up moving in with a very old friend, a friend who was actually the first person at school I came out as gay to, so yes a very old friend, a very safe space. It’s great having my base now, the lightness of houseminding and petsitting now feels like the initial concept, light and free. But of course having a base comes with rent therefore the free of charge petsitter deal is now out the window. So now it’s just a process of letting everyone know that I now charge for all new bookings. The free has been fun, it’s given me the ability to photograph a million beautiful felines and canines, write stories and promote my community business so nothing was a waste, every decision this year has come with an upside.
So moving forward from here, well let’s get through the last of the years confrontations and hopefully I can walk into 2018 with a new sense of strength that I can handle what ever is thrown at me, that I am enough, that me without possessions still has value, that stripped down to the bare essentials that I can do it…..but not without the help of my friends, I absolutely feel that I have moved through this year being lifted by my friendship groups, I realised that I certainly am not an island, I have tried to be in the past as I have a range of introverted tendencies and I have realised that I need people, and they need me, I need community and I like to be needed by my community. It takes bravery to let people in and be in the world of human relationship, but it’s essential for health, our strength, our ability to be resilient relies on social support networks.
So to all you beautiful friends that have been a part of my year, thank you, thank you for listening, for laughing, for supporting, for talking, for liking, for everything you bring me and us. I hope to continue my journeys into the new worlds I am attempting to create for myself and I hope you do some amazing creating in 2018 too.
See you on the other side biatches 😘💃🏻✨👏🏼